Statement 2

(Impact Statement)

January 12, 2009

Address: Fuyu, Taimusupesu, 268-20 Mukaihara, Nihonmatsu City, Fukushima, 964-0916

Signiture:                                (Seal)

Introduction

(1)

I, Wayne Michael Douglas, wish to submit this statement in addition to my first one (Evidence article: Koh A22, dated January 21, 2008) to help show the impact that this case has had on my life. By doing so I hope to be able to achieve some degree of much needed closure. I hope that this case can be put into an even clearer perspective by sharing some of my experiences contained herein.

My Background

(2)

In order to understand the impact that this case has had on my life, I wish to share a little about my background first. Soon after being born on September, 9 1966 in Auckland, New Zealand, I was adopted out to my now mother MD.

(3)

My adopted parents divorced when I was about 5 years old and my mother raised my younger adopted brother and me by herself from then on. Single handedly, she fulfilled both the roles of father and mother working a full time job during the day, cooking etc at night, and mowing the lawns, fixing the car, redecorating the house etc. on the weekends. Sometimes she even managed to do volunteer work for the SPCA helping animals on weekends too. I feel that I could not have been adopted by a better mother. Although, I spent one year at boarding school at the age of nine, I had a very happy and healthy childhood. I was always involved in sports and I always had many friends around me.

My Affiliation with Japan

(4)

After leaving school, I started working in the building industry. However, due to the economic downturn in the late eighties I was made redundant and was unable to find any alternative employment. As a counter measure, the New Zealand government had just introduced the “Adult Education Program” and my mother suggested that I take advantage of this to up-skill myself.

I was considering a career in the travel industry which was on the rise at the time. My mother then suggested that I study Japanese as there were many Japanese tourists coming to New Zealand. Also, apart from tourism, other exchanges between our two countries including business, education, travel, sports etc. were also beginning to expand considerably at the time.

(5)

I decided then that I wanted to learn Japanese and made arrangements to return to high school to complete my secondary education. However, I did not have the school fees. I went to the bank with my mother but they said that they would not give me a loan without any collateral. My mother was so intent on helping me to succeed that she extended the mortgage on the family home. Subsequently, we were granted the loan and I was able to return to high school to complete my 3rd year of education which I did successfully.

(6)

During that one year of study, I became more and more interested in Japan and decided to apply for the advanced certificate, and later, the Bachelors Degree course at the Auckland University of Technology. However, once again, I did not have the school fees and this time my mother offered to help by lending me her retirement savings but emphasized that I would need to pay her back before her retirement. I was so happy, I promised my mother then that I would study very hard, get a good job, pay her back, make her retirement a comfortable one, and above all make her proud.

(7)

Subsequently, I soon went on to receive a scholarship for “Outstanding Students of the Japanese Language” and represented New Zealand on a two week study tour in Japan along with sixty other students from around the world. After graduating, I continued this success by working for the Local Government in Japan where I once again received commendation for outstanding work. At this point I was climbing the ladder and the future was looking very promising…

(8)

I decided at this point to pursue a career in helping to develop Japan’s international exchange activities, especially those with New Zealand. I also decided then that my thirties were going to be my money making years so that I could be established at the age of forty…

Vertigo Attack and Dr. X's Drug Treatment

(9)

As mentioned previously, I was suddenly awoken by a rotational vertigo attack at 2am on May 11, 2000. This attack was so severe that I was unable to stand, and I had to be moved around the hospital between departments in a wheelchair the next morning. Further, I was left with a sense of dizziness where it felt like my environment was rocking or floating which was ongoing (24/7).

(10)

During my testimony on September 12, 2008 I stated that, unless you experience addiction yourself, you will not be able to fully understand how traumatic it really is. I was then asked to explain what I meant by this but I found it too difficult to put into words at only a moment’s thought. Since then I have had time to consider this question and I would now like to explain what it was like in my case as follows:

1. Although my dizziness had improved during the first few weeks of the treatment, it later worsened and there was no further improvement at all. Subsequently, I was left in a state where I was constantly staggering like being quite drunk. This sensation was ongoing (24/7).

2. Following about 4 months of treatment, I began to suffer from severe emotional instability including panic attacks, anxiety, mood swings, aggression, and feelings that I was going mad. Although there were variations in frequency and severity, these feelings were ongoing (24/7).

3. I was suffering from the numerous other symptoms that I developed during the course of the treatment, as outlined in section one of Dr. Judson’s report (dated April 24, 2008). These symptoms were also ongoing (24/7).

(11)

If one can imagine what it must feel like to be drunk 24 hours a day 7 days a week, week after week, month after month and suffering from numerous other ongoing debilitating symptoms, including panic attacks and feeling like you are going mad all at the same time for over one year, whilst trying to function normally within society in a country different from your own without any support, then you might understand what I meant when I said to my mother in that November phone call; “Mum, I feel like I’m in hell”. Needless to say, the above also lead to further feelings of isolation and depression.

(12)

NB: I remember one of the comments that Dr. X made to me during the treatment was “You have to toughen up”.

(13)

NB: Dr. X argues that the treatment for my dizziness was completed successfully on November 24, 2000. However, when I consulted the O Medical Center, I listed “Dizziness” and “Deterioration in sense of balance” in the Patient Questionnaire Form on December 21, 2000. Also, a year later, I consulted Neurologist, Dr. Hutchinson, about dizziness on December 12, 2001.

The first sign of improvement in my dizziness was not until late December 2001 (approximately 8 months after ceasing the drug treatment). This is when it changed for the first time from “ongoing” to “periodic spells” only. During the course of the drug treatment, my sense of balance was so bad that I could no longer cope with cooking (So I ate out alone at family restaurants every night for months on end).

(14)

During my last days in Japan, I had reached a state of complete burnout and I was barely able to walk for any more than about 50 metres. On my last day at work I cried in disappointment, as I reflected on my term there. I felt totally confused because I did not realize at the time that I was drug dependant.

(15)

I felt so disgusted and dirty within myself from the effects of addiction, and also because I didn’t want to keep anything that reminded me of the suffering I had to endure at the time, I ended up throwing all of my belongings away, including all of my clothes, when I vacated my apartment.

Another reason was because I did not have the strength to carry anything home with me. I can recall making my way straight from work to my old home stay family’s house in Ota-ku. In one of the train stations along the way I took off all of my work clothes and threw them straight in the rubbish bin, shoes and all.

(16)

I then returned to New Zealand with only what I had on me, my old gym training clothes together with my passport and ticket in hand.

Withdrawal and Rehabilitation

(17)

When I arrived at the airport my own mother did not recognize me. She said that I looked like a “half dead zombie”. My mother had to drive me to the doctors’ rooms which were only about 100 metres down the road but I was unable to walk that far at the time. Subsequently, I was diagnosed as benzodiazepine dependant and was referred to a detoxification program under Dr. Judson.

(18)

During this time I became extremely volatile with an increase in most of my symptoms including: mood swings aggression, panic attacks, palpitations, hypersensitivity etc. My time in Japan had been extremely painful but my suffering was still a long way away from easing. I can remember days when I screamed at my elderly mother over what I realize now were clearly trivial things.

I can recall nights when my mother and I were sitting in the lounge watching television. I would sit there slightly rocking my chair back and forth, as I endured all of the previously mentioned drug symptoms. At times it felt like I was going to explode. I kept repeating to myself “I hope I don’t lose control and attack mum, I hope I don’t lose control and attack mum….” and just kept praying for it all to stop, but it never did, not for a long while to come.

(19)

It was really terrible. I seriously thought about running away but to where? This was home, and yet I felt as though I was in hell.

(20)

I found myself constantly asking my mother to turn down the volume of the TV and she would say it’s not loud. I was still not able to watch programs with too many visual-effects either, as I was much too sensitive to sound and light. Due to the stress this was causing my elderly mother, she actually started smoking again for the first time in about twenty years. I did not want to see her do this and I can recall crying as I pleaded with her to stop again. My mother was still actually working during this time, and she had many sleepless nights as a result of my addiction which had an indirect effect on her own health as well.

(21)

I was granted the sickness benefit because I was not fit to work. However, this was nowhere near enough money to survive on and to pay the numerous rehabilitation costs that I was faced with. Subsequently, I ended up borrowing more money from my elderly mother, who has always lived in a state of financial hardship herself, so that I could supplement my living expenses at a time when I should have been paying back her retirement fund.

(22)

For several months I was still too unwell to drive. I later tried to join the local gym but they were very reluctant to let me in, as I was still walking like a drunk and I sometimes had to support myself by holding onto things. They eventually let me join though, and I started off by using very light weights on controlled seated machines (bench press was 20kgs).

(23)

A few months following rehabilitation, I was eventually able to renew my driver’s license and my mother would then allow me to use her car for short trips to the local shops only. We did a few test runs together first just to make sure that I was capable. (NB: I had possessed my full car and motorcycle license for a 20 year period and was a proven competent driver prior to this).

(24)

Once I had built up enough confidence, a few months later, I made my first journey away from home up to Auckland City to visit friends. Even though I had been off the drugs for a few months and had been making major efforts to improve my state of health, my friends were extremely surprised at how skinny, gaunt, pale and sick looking I was.

(25)

When I first visited my best friend and old gym training partner, Dale, he invited me to walk up his driveway to get the mail in. He was shocked when I declined saying that I did not feel equal to the task of making the walk up the small slope of about 40 metres. On another occasion he invited me to take a walk along the waterfront and I had to decline once again, as my dizziness was still quite bad and I still did not have enough stamina to walk much.

(26)

As at October 2001 I had been off the drugs for a period of over 5 months and was experiencing slow but steady progress for both the symptoms that were associated with my initial vertigo attack, and those that developed during the drug treatment. I had put on some weight and made gains in strength and stamina as well.

Also, In December 2001 the nature of my dizziness changed notably for the very first time since my initial vertigo attack on May 11, 2000 from ongoing (24/7) to periodic dizzy spells only. Together with the removal of the drugs and time, my sense of balance recovered 100% (NB: I sometimes get light dizzy spells associated with panic attacks but this is completely different in nature to what I had before).

(27)

In December 2001 my girlfriend (K) arrived from Japan to visit me for a period of three months. I had not seen her since we last met in Japan in February 2001 (about 10 months earlier). K told me I looked much better than when we last met in Japan. She said I had put on a lot more weight and looked a lot better colour than before. She commented that I was a completely new person.

Although, a lot of our time spent together was fun, K has recently made it clear to me that I was quite unpredictable and I had apparently said many nasty things to her without even realizing it at the time. This is probably due to the aggressive tendencies that I had developed whilst taking the prescription drugs. For that reason we argued a lot and our friendship has been unstable ever since.

(28)

As of May 2002 I had recovered from most of my benzodiazepine related symptoms including: palpitations, tightness in chest, stomach pains, nausea etc (NB: Some symptoms disappeared after only a few months of stopping and others took longer). However I continued to suffer from the trauma and emotional upset associated with my previous drug addiction, including panic attacks.

In June 2002 I was declared fit to work again and moved up to Auckland to look for a job and re-entered the workforce for the first time since leaving Japan nearly 15 months earlier. After moving up to Auckland I was trying to get back to leading a normal life again, however, for the first few months or so all I could do outside of work was sleep.

(29)

Since then, I made a concerted effort to rehabilitate myself back into leading a normal healthy life again with gradually introducing work, study and regular exercise back into my life. Around mid 2003 I finally started to reach my potential with my physical training. After Dr. X’s treatment I was hardly able to stand on my own two feet.

Now, however, I was squatting up to 180 kgs, bench pressing 100kgs and going on 10 hour hikes in the mountains. My body weight had increased from a sick 64kgs to a healthy 84 kgs of muscle. Although, there were times when I continued to suffer from the trauma of my previous addiction, at this stage I began to get some of my confidence back and started to feel more focused.

(30)

NB: I noticed Dr. X made the comment that my symptoms disappeared because I returned home to New Zealand. I would like to take this opportunity to ask a question regarding this. Firstly, I do not at all believe that I had Sylvian Aqueduct Syndrome, but is it possible for someone with SLAS to recover simply by returning to their home country? (Please also consider my recovery only came about after the removal of the drugs that were prescribed as treatment for the SLAS diagnosis).

Long Term Effects of Addiction

(31)

Although, I made a significant improvement in my overall health following the cessation of Dr. X’s drug regime, I am clearly not the same person I was before. I continue to suffer from the trauma of my previous drug dependence and associated panic attacks. I sometimes wake at night with panic attacks and I sometimes have nightmares about Dr. X and his treatment. I also tire a lot easier and my threshold to stress has been significantly reduced.

Subsequently, I have been unable to work a job that involves too much responsibility and/or overtime which has greatly affected my career earning potential as well.

(32)

Since I became addicted to benzodiazepines I have been teaching English on and off. English teaching is now a happy medium for me because it does not have the level of responsibility of a management job, and it pays better than a physical labour job. However, this type of work also has it difficulties at times because of the fact that I sometimes experience panic attacks during class. Sometimes, if I have a good group of students, I will tell them what I am experiencing and why, otherwise, I just have to persevere, or seek refuge in the toilet or something.

Quest for Answers and Compensation

(33)

Naturally, after I had successfully pulled away from Dr. X’s drug regime and made a significant recovery in my overall health, I began to feel the need to find out why I ended up in such a bad state when receiving the drug treatment. Needless to say, it is not normal to receive treatment and then end up in such a shocking condition. I needed answers to ensure that it never happens again, and I also felt a desperate need to put the pieces together in order to get some closure on this ordeal.

(34)

Subsequently, at the beginning of 2003 I began conducting some research into Dr. X’s diagnosis and drug treatment. From the literature and from other specialist doctors including Neurologists in New Zealand and later in Japan as well, I learned that my original symptoms on presentation to Dr. X were not at all consistent with the “universal standard definition of Sylvian Aqueduct Syndrome”. Also, I learned that benzodiazepines are not suitable as a means of treatment for the “universal standard definition of Sylvian Aqueduct Syndrome” either.

(35)

I felt most disappointed that I had not been given the opportunity to make an informed decision regarding what I thought was best for me at the time. The more I researched, the stronger my sense of injustice towards Dr. X grew, and subsequently, I decided to commence preparations for a compensation claim for my losses and suffering.

(36)

This research and subsequent claim for compensation has entailed an enormous amount of work which has placed yet another heavy burden (physically, emotionally, and financially) onto me. Unfortunately, this has also resulted in burdening those around me as well.

Returning to Japan

(37)

I decided to return to Japan again and face my fears as a way to help overcome some of the psychological barriers that were created as a result of my previous traumatic experiences there. Also, I felt the need to make sure other people are made aware of what happened to me, so that others don’t have to suffer as I have done.

(38)

Making this return to Japan was a huge psychological step forward for me.

(39)

After arriving in Japan, before making my way to my new job in Nagano, I went to seek legal advice in Omiya. I can clearly recall the apprehension I felt as I rode the same trains, walked through the same stations and heard the same sounds that I did the last time I was there when I was suffering from my drug addiction.

It was difficult at first, but with my now much stronger, healthier body and focused mind, I was able to face my fears, and by doing so, I found the initial apprehension had started to ease resulting in a more therapeutic effect. I realized then that this going back was also an important part in the overall process of my recovery.

(40)

When I talked with the lawyers in Omiya I enquired as to whether or not mediation existed in Japan because I wanted to try and resolve this matter in an amicable way outside of court if at all possible. The reply was yes, and I was given some advice about how to make an application.

Subsequently, I began preparing for a mediation hearing soon after settling into my new life in Nagano. This preparation involved amending all of the documentation that I had prepared back in New Zealand, collecting patient files and analyzing and compiling all of the information yet again.

Mediation

(41)

On March 24, 2006 I had my first (unrepresented) mediation hearing. I was so nervous that my legs had turned to jelly. I was really apprehensive about looking the man who caused me so much trauma in the eyes. However, much to my disappointment Dr. X did not show up. Apparently, he had made the comment that I was just out to cause trouble.

I was also disappointed that Defense Lawyer M (TN: Hospital’s lawyer) took over the entire process and did not allow me the opportunity to speak, so I wrote a letter to both the court mediator and the hospital asking if I could please have the opportunity to speak the next time. A few days after mediation I received a parcel in the post from Dr. X. It contained about 5 different copies of books that he had written without any message included.

(42)

On April 13, 2006 I had my second (unrepresented) mediation hearing. Once again I was extremely apprehensive and my legs had gone to jelly again. However, once again, much to my disappointment, Dr. X did not show up.

(43)

Fortunately, it was at this time that a member of the court offered to help arrange a lawyer for me through legal aid. This is how I come to be acquainted with my now lawyer Mr. A. I now finally had someone to help share the burden of my quest for compensation which gave me some sense of relief.

(44)

On May 26, 2006 I had my third mediation hearing. This time I was represented by Mr. A. Also, Dr. X showed up with his lawyer for the first time.

(45)

I explained to Mr. A that I wanted to treat this case as a “problem”, not as a “fight”, and that I wanted to resolve it in an amicable way. However, Mr. A responded by saying: “I understand that you want to resolve this amicably, and I will try my best to do so, however, judging from the defense’s current attitude, it seems unlikely it will happen this way”.

Mr. A went on to say: “usually in cases where people set out to resolve disputes in an amicable way, there is an emphasis placed on the necessity to clarify the issues. However, in cases where people proceed with talks that don’t really set about clarifying the issues, it usually means the opposition has no intention of accepting any responsibility, in which case, they may settle for about 1,000,000 yen at best (TN: $10,000 / 3 months’ salary equivalent at time of incapacitation).

Mr. A further added: “You weren’t content with that sort of outcome now, were you? What I’m trying to say is that if you want to stand up for your rights and make sure this kind of thing never happens to anyone else again, I’m afraid the only thing we can do now is to stand up and fight hammer and tong”. Mr. A then prepared a fight strategy on the same basis he would for all out judicial action, and similarly, Dr. X had also taken up an all out fighting stance, and after one year of talks, mediation concluded without any resolution.

Judicial Court

(46)

After mediation concluded Mr. A said “There’s no need to give up at this point”. He also told me to be prepared for having to burden large legal costs. I had some hesitation at first, but at this point, I was of the view that I did not want all of the efforts made thus far to go to waste and so I decided to lodge for judicial action in the courts.

(47)

As with mediation, proceeding to judicial action in the courts has placed yet an even larger burden upon me. Once again, I have had to endure this burden in a country different from my own without any support nearby, apart from Mr. A and Mr. H. My mother said that this case has changed me and that I have become very serious and irritable in nature.

(48)

NB: The levels of stress that I have been experiencing recently, as a result of court, are incomparably greater than those I had back in 2000 but my general health condition now is still incomparably better than it was back in 2000.

Other Losses

(49)

When I returned to New Zealand for drug rehabilitation in 2001 it was necessary for me to take out a bank loan, as my elderly mother eventually got to the stage where she could no longer support me financially. I needed this money to keep up with ongoing rehabilitation costs, get needed dental work done, supplement living expenses, buy clothes etc.

(50)

This loan was initially for $5,595 but later had to be increased to $16,483.41 to enable me to relocate to Auckland in mid 2002 and to prepare for my new job, make repairs on my car, and to reimburse my mother some of the money that I had been borrowing from her. The total cost of this finance was $11,355.40. This finance would not have been necessary if I was not put in a state of incapacitation by benzodiazepines. This is one example of the many other hidden costs that I have had to endure which are not claimable in the courts.

(51)

Another major impact has been lost opportunities. Many of my friends, who are my age, have had the opportunity to get married, have children, invest in houses during the recent boom, pursue lucrative careers with incomes in excess of NZ$100,000 pa, study for post graduate degrees etc.

Despite my efforts to achieve and do well, in contrast I have: NZ$40,000 in debts with zero assets, long-term effects of previous addiction, and a major international court case which is costing yet even further large amounts of money.

NB: One must also appreciate that monetary dynamics are not linear, rather they work in multiples, i.e. money makes money and debts create further loss. Hence, the English expression, “The rich get richer and the poor get poorer”. My financial situation is so bad that I actually had to borrow from the Social Welfare to buy some clothes last year.

(52)

Apart from lost opportunities, the preparatory work for litigation has included many material expenses as well, including translation costs (translations were initially done by my lawyers Mr. A and Mr. H), doctors’ fees in New Zealand, document preparation, transportation etc.

However, as I have had no money, I have sometimes done home handyman work on friends’ houses in exchange for translation services etc. I also had to borrow money from a friend so that I could make it to Japan to testify. When I arrived here I had no money, no job, and no accommodation.

(53)

Lost time has also had a huge impact on my life. Needless to say, I was not able to spend time doing the things that I wanted to do following my vertigo attack and addiction to benzodiazepines but the demands of the subsequent claim for compensation has also robbed me of a huge amount of time.

This loss in time has been occurring since 2000 and spans nearly ten years (most of my thirties) which are arguably the most important years in a young man’s life because this is generally the time when a young man establishes himself both career and family-wise. We only get one life and this time can never be replaced.

In Closing

(54)

It is well recognized that drug dependence ruins peoples’ lives including their health, families, careers, finances, relationships, etc. and so does litigation. Unfortunately, I have had to endure both of these ordeals back to back over the last 10 years which has had a severe impact on my life. The longer this goes on the more damage is being done. I do not wish to suffer anymore.

(55)

Despite the long term effects of my previous addiction and the ongoing burden of court, I am making positive efforts to restore some normality back into my life. I am currently working on three-monthly contracts back at JICA (TN: Japan International Cooperation Agency) in Fukushima. I sometimes struggle with the long-term effects of my previous addiction, i.e. panic attacks but I am doing my best.

(56)

One of the most difficult things of this entire ordeal has been witnessing how it has affected my elderly and kind hearted mother. She has had a difficult life and has given everything to make sure that her children succeed in life.

I can recall going to her room, just before I left to Japan to testify in September 2008, and seeing the anguish my case has caused on her aging face as she laid her weary body down on her bed. My not being able to repay her retirement fund that I borrowed for education fees has also been making her retirement years very difficult.

(57)

This has clearly been the single most difficult thing I have ever done in my life. However, a strong belief in the truth and a desire not to give up on myself or others, who may become addicted, has carried me through. I have done my absolute best to present the facts and the importance of this case to the relevant parties and feel I can do no more. All I want now is to move on and live a normal life again.

(58)

As I mentioned in my first statement, Dr. X is a world renowned doctor and I am an ordinary New Zealand man, however, I hereby trust in the court to make a fair and just decision.